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NICABM – Practical Strategies for Working with Deep-Seated Resentment

Working with Resentment:
19 Experts Share the Latest Strategies to Help Your Client Let Go of Chronic Grievances and Deep-Seated Bitterness

To help clients shift out of deep-seated resentment, we need to:

• understand the specific neurobiological factors that fuel chronic grudge-holding and grievances
• understand the ways clients might subconsciously interact with others in ways that spark resentment
• address the two hidden emotions that resentment most commonly masks

So we asked 19 of the top experts in the field to share their best strategies for working with clients who struggle with resentment. This is the result.

Practical Strategies for Working with Deep-Seated Resentment

Why It’s Critical to Factor Anger and Grief into Your Work with Resentment, and Strategies for Approaching Both

Thema Bryant-Davis, PhD   Ron Siegel, PsyD
Rick Hanson, PhD   Joan Borysenko, PhD

• Helping Your Client Understand Why Anger Can Feel So Good
• One Link Between Resentment and Grief That Your Client Might Not Expect
• The Steep Cost When Clients Push Anger Aside
• What Can Happen When Anger Goes Unacknowledged
• Three Specific Challenges That Often Arise When Working with the Grief Beneath Resentment

Unpacking Your Client’s “Resentment Story” – Key Strategies to Help Clients Process and Transition Out of Long-Held Resentment
Christopher Willard, PsyD   Ron Siegel, PsyD
Christine Padesky, PhD

• Why Timing Is So Critical in Working with Resentment, and What Can Happen If You Get It Wrong
• One Way to Tailor Your Approach That Can Help You Get the Timing Right
• How to Navigate a Critical Choice Point in Working with Resentment

The Link Between Resentment and Righteous Indignation (and Why It Might Require a More Specialized Approach)
Christopher Willard, PsyD   Rick Hanson, PhD
Joan Borysenko, PhD

• What Happens in the Brain When Resentment Arises
• One Specific Fear That Can Fuel Righteous Indignation
• A Key First Step in Helping Clients Separate from Righteous Indignation

Working with Resentment When Trauma Is a Factor
Janina Fisher, PhD   Thema Bryant-Davis, PhD
Christine Padesky, PhD

• One Way to Help When a Client’s Trauma Defense Gets Interrupted (and How It Can Impact Resentment)
• Helping Clients Understand the Cycle of Trauma, Memory, Anger, and Resentment
• The Key “Starting Place” That Can Help You Uncover the Root of Your Client’s Angry, Resentful Response (Especially When It Might Seem Overblown)
• Three Common Responses to a Hurt or Slight, and How to Guide Your Client Toward Choosing the One That’s Most Effective
• Using Narrative Therapy and the Expressive Arts to Help a Client Address Resentment – A Case Study

Strategies to Help You Keep a Session on Track When a Client’s Resentment Is Directed at You, the Practitioner
Christine Padesky, PhD   Ron Siegel, PsyD

• A Shift in Perspective That Can Transform How We Respond to a Client’s Anger
• One Practice to Help You Manage Tensions That Arise During a Session
• What to Do When You Start to Dread Your Next Session with a Client

Helping Clients Understand Resentment (and Why It’s So Easily Triggered)
Shelly Harrell, PhD   Rick Hanson, PhD
Joan Borysenko, PhD   Ron Siegel, PsyD

• Three Specific Attributes of Resentment Your Client Needs to Know Before They Can Begin to Work Through It
• Helping Clients Explore the Common Factors That Can Breed Chronic Resentment
• A 3-Step Process to Jumpstart Your Work with Resentment

The Secret to Preventing Resentment from Developing: Failsafe Strategies for Helping Clients Manage Expectations
Christopher Willard, PsyD   Michael Yapko, PhD
Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT   Ron Siegel, PsyD
Christine Padesky, PhD

• Two Critical Questions to Help Clients Stop Resentment in Its Tracks
• One Strategic Word Change That Can Help a Client Who Is Hyper-Focused on the Past
• A Strategy to Help Your Clients Shift Out of Past Resentment and Into Future Possibility
• A 3-Step Process to Help Your Client Walk Away from a Fight

How to Help Couples When Resentment Threatens to Derail Their Relationship
Terry Real, MSW, LICSW   Richard Schwartz, PhD
Stan Tatkin, PsyD, MFT   Christopher Willard, PsyD
Christine Padesky, PhD   Rick Hanson, PhD

• Why Resentment Can Snowball So Quickly in Relationships
• Three Critical “Shifts” That Each Partner in a Couple Often Needs to Get Good At (in Order to Dispel Resentment)
• One Way to Help Couples Disrupt the Patterns That Foment Resentment
• A 4-Step Workaround to Help You Reach a Partner Who Might Have Dug-In Patterns of Negativity
• The “Garbage Bag Strategy” That Can Help You Work with a Client Who Struggles to Let Go of Resentment Toward Their Partner, Despite Their Partner’s Effort to Change
• Three Questions That Can Help You Get to the Root of a Partner’s Resentment

How to Help Clients Heal Resentment That Started Within Their Family Relationship
Deany Laliotis, LICSW   Christopher Willard, PsyD
Lynn Lyons, LICSW   Christine Padesky, PhD
Ron Siegel, PsyD

• The “Neurobiology of Expectation-Building” and Why This Idea Can Be So Useful for Working with Resentment in Families
• Powerful Strategies for Approaching Resentment That Stems from Divorce
• Using the “T-Shirt Strategy” to Help Your Client Think About Resentment More Concretely

Helping Clients Who Struggle with Resentment Navigate the Complexities of Forgiveness
Rick Hanson, PhD   Joan Borysenko, PhD
Christine Padesky, PhD   Ron Siegel, PsyD

• A Metaphor to Help Clients Grasp the Futility of Nurturing Resentment
• The Critical Difference Between Forgiveness and Reconciliation (and How to Help Clients Choose Whether Either One Is Right for Them)
• How to Reframe Forgiveness to Dispel the Common Misconceptions Clients Might Have About It
• How to Help Clients Distinguish “Cheap Forgiveness” from the More Genuine Kind
• Helping Clients Understand the Two Key Hallmarks of Genuine Forgiveness

How Mindfulness Can Transform Resentment – Specific Exercises to Share with Your Client
Zindel Segal, PhD   Ron Siegel, PsyD
Joan Borysenko, PhD   Christine Padesky, PhD

• Ways to Cultivate “Perspective-Switching” When Working with Clients Who Hold Certain Expectations of Others
• A 2-Step Exercise to Help Clients Change How They Perceive a Slight
• One Way to Prompt a “Mindset Shift” in a Client Whose Fear of Failure Fuels Patterns of Judgment and Resentment

Strategies for Working with Resentment That Stems from Social Injustice
Pat Ogden, PhD   Miguel Gallardo, PsyD
Joan Borysenko, PhD   Ron Siegel, PsyD
Christine Padesky, PhD

• A Critical Question That Can Shape Our Approach to Socially or Culturally Charged Resentment
• How Working with Resentment Fueled by Ongoing Experiences Differs from Working with Resentment Rooted in Past Experiences
• One Important Caveat When Working with Resentment That’s Socially or Culturally Charged

For This Short Course, We Brought Together Some of the Top Experts in the Field

PAT OGDEN, PHD
Pioneer in Somatic Psychology; Founder and Director of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy Institute (SPI); Co-founder of the Hakomi Institute; Author of Sensorimotor Psychotherapy: Interventions for Trauma and Attachment.

STEPHEN PORGES, PHD
Developer of Polyvagal Theory; Distinguished University Scientist at the Kinsey Institute at Indiana University Bloomington and Research Professor in the Department of Psychiatry at University of North Carolina Chapel Hill.

RICHARD SCHWARTZ, PHD
Founder of Internal Family Systems (IFS) and The Center for Self Leadership.

SHELLY HARRELL, PHD
Licensed psychologist specializing in multicultural and community psychology; Professor of Psychology in the Graduate School of Education at Pepperdine University.

JANINA FISHER, PHD
Licensed clinical psychologist and Instructor at the Trauma Center, an outpatient clinic and research center founded by Bessel van der Kolk, MD; past president of the New England Society for the Treatment of Trauma and Dissociation.

CHRISTINE PADESKY, PHD
Co-founder of the Center for Cognitive Therapy in Huntington Beach, California; Co-creator of Strengths-Based CBT; Co-author of Mind Over Mood and Collaborative Case Conceptualization.

CHRISTOPHER WILLARD, PSYD
Psychologist and educational consultant specializing in mindfulness; president of the Mindfulness in Education Network; serves on the board of directors at the Institute for Meditation and Psychotherapy.

RON SIEGEL, PSYD
Assistant Professor of Psychology, part time, Harvard Medical School; Author of The Mindfulness Solution: Everyday Practices for Everyday Problems and Sitting Together: Essential Skills for Mindfulness-Based Psychotherapy.

THEMA BRYANT, PHD
Licensed psychologist specializing in relief and empowerment of marginalized persons; Professor of Psychology in the Graduate School of Education at Pepperdine University; author of Thriving in the Wake of Trauma: A Multicultural Guide.

RICK HANSON, PHD
Senior Fellow of the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley; New York Times bestselling author of Hardwiring Happiness and Buddha’s Brain.

JOAN BORYSENKO, PHD
Founder of Mind/Body Health Sciences LLC; Author of New York Times Bestseller Minding the Body, Mending the Mind.

MICHAEL YAPKO, PHD
Leading expert in clinical hypnosis and treating depression; Clinical psychologist and author of 15 books including his newest books, The Discriminating Therapist and Keys to Unlocking Depression.

BILL O’HANLON, LMFT
Co-developer of Solution-Oriented Therapy; Psychotherapist, speaker, and author of Do One Thing Different: Ten Simple Ways to Change Your Life.

TERRY REAL, MSW, LICSW
Founder of the Relational Life Institute; author of I Don’t Want to Talk About It: Overcoming the Secret Legacy of Male Depression and The New Rules of Marriage: What You Need to Make Love Work.

STAN TATKIN, PSYD, MFT
Founder of the PACT Training Institute and developer of a Psychobiological Approach to Couple Therapy (PACT).

DEANY LALIOTIS, LICSW
Director of Training at EMDR Institute; Specialist in treatment of traumatic stress disorders and attachment issues; author of chapters and articles on EMDR therapy.

ZINDEL SEGAL, PHD
A founder of Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT); Professor of Psychology at the University of Toronto.

LYNN LYONS, LICSW
Author of Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents: 7 Ways to Stop the Worry Cycle and Raise Courageous & Independent Children, clinical social worker and psychotherapist specializing in anxiety in adults and children.

MIGUEL GALLARDO, PSYD
Licensed Psychologist specializing in multicultural and social justice; Associate Professor at Pepperdine University’s Graduate School of Education and Psychology; author of Case Studies in Multicultural Counseling and Therapy.

Course Director

Ruth Buczynski, PhD
Dr. Ruth Buczynski is a licensed psychologist and founder and president of The National Institute for the Clinical Application of Behavioral Medicine (NICABM). NICABM helps physicians, nurses, psychologists, social workers, and counselors – practitioners who have some of the most significant and life-changing missions on the planet – provide cutting-edge, research-based treatment strategies to their patients. For more than 25 years, NICABM has offered accredited training and professional development programs to thousands of practitioners worldwide.

Here’s What You’ll Get:

Everything is yours to keep forever in your professional library

• Downloadable videos so you can watch at your convenience, on any device
• Audio recordings you can download and listen to at home, in the car, at the gym or wherever you like
• Professionally-formatted transcripts of the sessions, to make review and action simple
• Three downloadable bonus videos to help you work more effectively with deep-seated resentment

Get 3 Bonuses That Give You Even More Strategies for Working with a Client’s Deep-Seated Resentment

Understanding Resentment at the Level of the Nervous System
Stephen Porges, PhD

• The Importance of Helping Clients Shift Out of Their Old Narrative and Into a New One
• Why Your Client’s Physiological Response Can Make Changing the Narrative Particularly Challenging – and How to Shape Your Approach
• One Way to Help Clients Cope as Their Resentment Eases and Their Uncertainty Increases

Three Writing Exercises to Help Your Client Work Through Resentment
Bill O’Hanlon, LMFT   Joan Borysenko, PhD
Christine Padesky, PhD   Rick Hanson, PhD

• An Exercise to Target the Negative Thought Loops That Might Be Keeping Your Client Stuck in Resentment
• One Tweak to a Writing Exercise That Can Make It Especially Useful in Treating Resentment
• How Writing Exercises Can Be Helpful with Resentment That Stems from Trauma

A 5-Step Mindfulness-Based Process to Help Clients Release Anger and Neutralize Resentment
Ron Siegel, PsyD

• Preparing Your Client for the Possibility of Reconciliation
• One Clinical Choice Point to Collaborate On with Your Client
• A Practice to Help Your Client Manage the Spectrum of Emotions That Come Along with Feeling Anger and Letting It Go

Here’s What Your Peers Have Experienced In NICABM Programs

. . . instrumental in opening my mind and heart to understanding trauma.
“These seminars have been instrumental in opening my mind and heart to understanding trauma. They are brief and accessible and of such high quality that I’ve been able to glean real understanding and a starting point for further study. I can’t say enough about them. I have recommended them to so many of my colleagues and they say the same things I do about them. Thank you Ruth!”

Angela Lawrence, Drug and Alcohol Counselor
British Columbia, Canada

The material covered has . . . fully supported my purpose, enhancing my knowledge of the theories behind the actions taken.
“I am a soldier, who works with other soldiers and their families (The PTSD Retreat), in reference to PTSD. We, as soldiers, are all taught the very basics of PTSD, in what we call “death-by-PowerPoint,” but it never goes beyond this. Indeed, it is repeated over and over, without change, and it rarely if ever gets to the families. The material covered in here has fully supported my purpose, enhancing my knowledge of the theories behind the actions taken. I am so grateful to have been able to follow this series and look forward to furthering my education with this entity. Thank you”

D. Nicole Johnson, Drug and Alcohol Counselor
Starr Founder, The PTSD Retreat

. . . very cost effective and practical . . .
“These programs offer a broad spectrum of both information and specific guidelines with top experts in different fields of addressing human suffering. All in a very cost effective and practical way. Rather than thousands of dollars spent on the cost of conference I can learn in the comfort of my own home or office, on my own schedule. Certainly recommend any of these series to my colleagues.”

Ian Macnaughton, PhD, Psychotherapist
Vancouver, BC, Canada

My clients have been able to build their confidence. . .
“My clients have been able to build their confidence in their ability to self-regulate on their own in pretty difficult situations, including work and family of origin situations. Their success has then built their self-esteem as they can see that they can be successful in changing some fairly habitual ways of interacting and hurting themselves. It is a positive cycle that builds upon itself”

Nancy Lasater, MSW, LCSW
Boulder, CO

Why the Transcript Is Essential:

• The transcript makes it easy to go back and double check concepts, citations and names that are mentioned
• We put in a table of contents to make it easy for you to find the exact part of the webinar you need
• Having the concepts already written allows you to take notes on how you’re going to use the ideas rather than transcribing the ideas
• Some people simply learn better by reading than by listening or watching
• You will be able to print out and share techniques presented in the session with your patients

“I really liked being able to follow along with the transcripts as I listened…it was nice not to feel like I had to take notes. I really feel like I remember more when I both hear and see at the same time.”

Mary Ellen McNaughton, Masters in Counseling, Psychology Counselor
Kelowna, British Colombia, Canada

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