Nicam – Helping Clients Undo Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing
Nicam – Helping Clients Undo Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing
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Description
Helping Clients Undo Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing free download. Above all, The Trauma Response That Can Keep Your Client Locked in Patterns of People-Pleasing (and Expert Strategies to Help You Work with It)
When a client has a pattern of chronic people-pleasing, they’re often caught in a near lifelong cycle of over-prioritizing others’ needs.
Helping Clients Undo Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing with Nicam
Now on the surface, this can seem like a good thing – it’s selfless, socially acceptable, and more often than not, it gets rewarded.
But here’s the thing – for many clients, pleasing and appeasing is their default way of protecting themselves from rejection, abandonment, or other types of emotional and physical harm. What’s more . . .
Pleasing and appeasing often starts out as a protective response to trauma.
Trauma researchers now recognize please and appease as one of the alternative defense responses to fight-flight-freeze (you might also hear it referred to as the fawn response).
And similar to all trauma responses, it can bring clients a sense of safety in the short term. The problem is, the longer someone engages in pleasing and appeasing, the more damage it can do.
So how do we help clients stuck in a response that compels them to erase their own needs and wants for the sole purpose of pleasing another person, in order to stave off mistreatment?
We thought this issue was so pervasive that we took this question to 21 of the leading experts in the field. We distilled their sharpest insights and strategies to bring you . . .
— New Short Course —
Helping Clients Undo Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing
Key Factors That Set Pleasing and Appeasing Apart from All Other Trauma Responses (And That Can Make It So Tricky to Detect)
- One feature of the please and appease response that makes it particularly insidious (and that often reinforces it)
- Why clients might not think that their pleasing and appeasing is all that problematic
- The counterintuitive sign that your client has a habit of pleasing and appeasing
How to Undo Deeply Engrained Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing
- The approaches we should AVOID when working with please and appease
- How to take advantage of neuroplasticity to help clients unlearn habits of pleasing and appeasing
- A step-by-step approach to helping clients feel more empowered in saying “yes” and “no” (instead of privileging others’ desires)
Strategies to Help Clients Begin to Unravel Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing Behavior
- How to help clients see that their pleasing and appeasing is doing harm (and get them on board with the idea that change is necessary)
- Specific language to help your client unpack how their habits of pleasing and appeasing developed
- Strategies to help your client challenge the underlying beliefs that drive their pleasing and appeasing
Key Factors to Consider When Your Client Is Pleasing and Appeasing in Response to a Present Threat
- Why pleasing and appeasing is sometimes necessary (and what this might mean for your treatment approach)
- What NOT to say to a client in an abusive relationship (and what to say instead)
- How to navigate a case when a client can’t escape ongoing threat
How Pleasing and Appeasing Can Serve (And Cost) Your Client
- How to address 2 common misconceptions about the please and appease response
- The roots of pleasing and appeasing (and how these behaviors can develop in response to trauma)
- 3 specific consequences that can come from chronic pleasing and appeasing
Strategies to Help Clients Shift from Pleasing and Appeasing to Setting Healthy Boundaries
- 2 common fears your client might have about setting boundaries (and how to help them get past these hang-ups)
- Using the “power of maybe” to help ease clients into boundary-setting
- Versatile imagery exercises that can help clients maintain boundaries
When Pleasing and Appeasing Overtakes a Client’s Identity (And How to Help Them Reconnect with and Embody Their Values)
- How to help your client see themselves as more than just a caretaker
- 2 exercises to help clients reconnect with their interests and values
- Strategies to help clients prioritize their values (even when it means upsetting others)
How to Help Clients Differentiate Between Functional and Dysfunctional Pleasing and Appeasing
- Why practitioners shouldn’t assume that pleasing and appeasing is inherently problematic
- Concrete benchmarks to assess whether your client’s pleasing and appeasing is helping or hurting them
- Cultural considerations for working with please and appease
How to Respond If You Notice Your Client (Or Yourself) Pleasing and Appeasing During a Session
- Why a client’s pleasing and appeasing in session might slip under your radar (and how to guard against it)
- How to respond when your client defaults to pleasing and appeasing you in a session
- A quick “self-check” for when you find yourself slipping into please and appease behaviors in a client session
Three Bonuses That Give You Even More Strategies
A 6-Step Process to Help Clients Shift Out of Patterns of Pleasing and Appeasing
- How to help clients challenge one “hard-and-fast rule” about standing up for themselves
- The small experiments that can help clients expand their beliefs about what’s possible
- How to use role plays to help clients practice asserting their own opinions
Helping Clients Activate the Power of Creativity to Reclaim a Voice That’s Lost in Chronic People-Pleasing
- Specific languaging to help clients recognize that their pleasing and appeasing is doing more harm than good
- One resource to help clients spark more lasting cognitive shifts
Working with Physical Pain That May Be Rooted in Pleasing and Appeasing
- One key question to address the parts of a client that might drive their physical pain
- How to shift your client’s attention away from the physical pain and toward the psychological factors that may be fueling their somatic symptoms
- How to help clients challenge the social and cultural messages that can reinforce please and appease behaviors
Thank You For Choosing Us! We appreciate it.
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